Would have been exhausted in water. See then my sweet agitation, See how many wonders You perfect within me Through your matchless beauty. Another of Ronsard’s experiments with repetition and contrast to help shape the form of the poem: an opening and closing stanza respond closely; and then 2-3-4 is matched by 5-6-7. The earlier Blanchemain version is surprisingly little different: a big change in the opening of the ‘refrain’, verses 2 & 5, but otherwise only a couple of minor variants. One of those is the very opening: “Mais voyez, mon cher esmoy !” (Ah see, my dear trouble!’); the other in the 6th stanza, where in line 3 he writes “Desirant par grande amour” (‘Wishing in great passion‘). Interestingly the later thoughts (above) show Ronsard eliminating the subtle diffrence between this line in verse 6 and its equivalent in verse 3. The refrain in the 2nd & 5th stanza is adapted as follows: … De telle façon vos yeux, Vostre ris et vostre grace, Vostre front et vos cheveux, Et vostre angélique face, Me bruslent depuis le jour … … In such a way your eyes, Your smile and your grace, Your brow and your hair, And your angelic face Have been burning me since the day … Interestingly, the original poem by Marullus offers a very different, more complex, set of structural links between the first and second half. His scheme is broadly 6+6+1, or more precisely (3+3)+(2+1 wrapped around 3)+1… Ronsard simplifies and restructures the respondences between the two halves; but it’s interesting how, reading the two, the simplicity/complexity of those respondences ‘feels’ pretty equivalent, so that both ‘feel’ like 2 corresponding halves, with a tailpiece or wrapper around them. Here’s Marullus for you to consider, another of his more famous poems: Sic me blanda tui Neaera ocelli, sic candentia colla, sic patens frons, sic pares minio genae perurunt, ex quo visa mihi et simul cupita es, ut, ni me lacrimae rigent perennes, totus in tenues eam favillas. Sic rursum lacrimae rigant perennes, ex quo visa mihi et simul cupita es, ut, ni blanda tui Neaera ocelli, ni candentia colla, ni patens frons, ni pares minio genae perurant, totus in riguos eam liquores. O vitam miseram et cito caducam ! Your eyes have so consumed me, my alluring Neaera, Your white neck, your open brow, Your cheeks equal to vermilion, For which you were seen and loved by me all at once, That unless my continual tears numb me I shall turn entirely into scattered ashes. So may my continual tears numb me again, Since you were seen and loved by me all at once, So that neither your eyes consume me, my alluring Neaera, Nor your white neck, nor your open brow, Nor your cheeks equal to vermilion, And I turn entirely to running water. O wretched life, destined for quick death!